Sunday, December 20, 2009

Ego Tripped Up...Almost

There's a funny thing about being a professional in anything. You often identify so heavily with that view of yourself through that lens. Branching out into the unknown can be a challenge. So what do I mean mean by that? Well for starters, for me it was this blog. I have been a graphic designer for 13 years so I kept telling myself that I couldn't possibly start a blog without creating some stellar design that perfectly reflected my personality. But the interesting thing was that I really had no interest in creating a visually captivating blog. I wanted to write. But I kept putting it off because, "I AM a graphic designer." So essentially I was putting on hold what my heart wanted because of my ego. My ego was holding on so tightly to the graphic designer lens that it ground all other progress to a halt.

The second part of this has more to do with the newest aspects of my life which consist of the lifecoaching certification, the Reiki, etc. My teacher Anne always said (roughly paraphrased), "You will attract the clients and situations that are best suited for you in your work." I've also heard it said time after time that everyone has to start somewhere. There will always be someone who does it better than you and there will always be someone who does it worse than you. And there are clients and situations that are perfect for everyone as long as there is passion and love behind the work. I also have been told that if the path is the right one for you, the way should be easy. Now I'm not saying it's without challenges and hard work but it should not feel like beating your head against a closed door day after day. If that happens, it means there are better options.

I had been trying to gain the confidence to teach a workshop. I was incredibly excited about the idea but I kept feeling like I should read one more book or take one more class and what I was really doing was hiding behind my own self doubt. My sweetie said to me a while ago that when they send someone to teach new computer software, they don't send their "A" guy to teach a beginner class. They send the "C" guy because that's all the class really needs in that circumstance. The "A" guy is sent to teach the advanced class. So simply put, there is room for everyone at every level. And as long as you are up front about your experience, you will attract the people who need you at the level where you currently are. Just like in anything else you do. Then as you move forward, those older opportunities will fall to someone new. So often people are fearful of others taking work that used to be theirs. I believe that's simply life's way of nudging you forward to expand and challenge yourself. When you fight change, that's when things get rough.

So on that note, yes my blog is not very visually engaging. And for now, that is just fine by me. It may be some day but I'm not worrying about it. As far as the workshops are concerned, yes they are my first. I'm very excited and I definitely have some jitters but my stagnation time is over. Time to get the waters flowing and get to work on my dreams.

The Universe doesn't like you to get too comfortable. True joy doesn't come from hiding in the daily sameness of your life. Egos are funny things. I am a graphic designer, I am a Reiki practitioner, I am, I am, I am...none of those things. They are things I do. I am me. And I change everyday. Because I can.

1 comment:

  1. So true! I am currently in stuggle with the labels I have given myself, and I ask myself if I have the "right" to use a new one as I try new things. I love the idea that I am not the things I do. I am me and I change every day.

    BTW. I love your new design!


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